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 compilation of jokes.........hirit na

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TGP
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Fri Jun 27 2008, 19:41

opo mama daryl blushing

daryll wrote:
nyahhh papa lovey priest ba yong lover ng mama niya? rolling 4 laugh lots of laugh
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Fri Jun 27 2008, 19:44

Nagpayabangan ang tatlong daga:

Daga #1: "Kakainin ko ang keso sa mouse trap!"

Daga #2: "Ako, kakainin ko ang keso na may rat killer!"

Daga #3: "Manood kayo. Yayariin ko yung pusa!"
nyahhh natawa ako sa mga daga na eto!

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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Jun 28 2008, 12:25

Ailou wrote:
Nagpayabangan ang tatlong daga:

Daga #1: "Kakainin ko ang keso sa mouse trap!"

Daga #2: "Ako, kakainin ko ang keso na may rat killer!"

Daga #3: "Manood kayo. Yayariin ko yung pusa!"
nyahhh natawa ako sa mga daga na eto!

nyahhh mas matapan yung pangatlo... yariin ba naman ang pusa hahaha rolling 4 laugh
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Tue Jul 01 2008, 19:22

Romeo: Pare, pautang muna ng 5 kilong bigas at 3 sardinas. Bayaran ko agad
pagdating ni misis galing US.
Felipe: Sige, eto. Kailan ba ang uwi ni
mare?

Romeo: Nag-a-apply pa lang…



>Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.
>Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po
ba ang dapat kong gawin?
>Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at
bungangera.
>Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?
>Dok: Hindi, pero
mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!


Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: ur name pls..
A: abdul aziz
Q:
sex?
A: twice a wik..
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter....
sometimes even with camel...


ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi gabi, kasi lagi daw ako nanunuod ng
basketball.
DOCTOR: Sige halika may gamot ako para dyan.
ADIK: Wag muna
dok, championship game na mamaya eh!


Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang viagra?
Erap: tanga! sa harap
effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!

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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Wed Jul 02 2008, 11:11

nyahhh ang galing Ai... nice on... good jokes... rolling 4 laugh
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jgwapito
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sun Jul 06 2008, 12:44

Nakikipaglibing
May isang 12 anyos na dalagita na litong lito sa sarili. Pumasok siya sa simbahan at hinanap ang pari.

Dalagita: Padre may gusto po sana akong itanong.

Pari: Ano yon ineng.

Dalagita: (itinaas ang t-shirt at ipinakita ang tumutubong boobs) ito po, ano po ang ibig sabihin nito?

Pari: Oh, eh Ineng yan ang tanging kayamanan ninyong mga babae.

Dalagita: (ibinaba ang shorts at ipinakita ang pag aari) ito naman ho padre ano po ang ibig sabihin nito?

Pari: Naku Ineng napakabata mo pa para malaman yan.

Pagkalipas ng anim na taon, ang dalagita ay dalaga na at nagpasyang bumalik sa Pari.

Dalaga: Padre natatandaan nyo ho ba ako?

Pari: Hindi Ineng...eh sino ka ba?

Dalaga: Ako ho Padre ang nagtanong sa inyo kung ano ang ibig sabihin nito. (itinaas ang blouse)

Pari: Naaalala na kita iha. hinde ba ang sabi ko ay yan ang tanging kayamanan ninyong mga babae.

Dalaga: Opo Padre, pero hindi ninyo sinagot kung ano ang ibig sabihin nito. (Itinaas ang mini-skirt)

Pari: Iha, tutal ay dalaga ka na, pwede mo ng malaman kung para saan yan. Iha diyan inililibing ang mga buhay.

Dalaga: Ganon ho ba padre? Eh paano ho naililibing ang buhay.

Pari: Halika iha at ipapakita ko sa iyo.

at dinala ang dalaga sa tinutuluyan ng pari.

Dalaga: Padre ganyan ho pala ilibing ang buhay. Pwede hong isa pa.

Iisa pa sana pero nagulat ang Pari ng mapatingin sa bintana at makita ang sakristan na may ginagawa rin.

Pari: Sakristan anong ginagawa mo diyan?!!!!!

Sakristan: Wala po padre...NAKIKIPAGLIBING LANG PO!

SECOND TIME AROUND
MAID: Naku ma'am, pinatungan ako ng magnanakaw kagabi!
AMO: E' ba't di ka sumigaw??
MAID: E' akala ko po si sir eh. Pero nung nakadalawa sya, doon ako nagduda!!!

kare-kare
Q: Bakit ang Talong Ayaw lumambot sa Kare-Kare?
A:Kasi may kasamang Mani

Dog Style
Boy: Dad, ano gawa mo kay mommy?

Dad: (nahuling nakapatong) Gumagawa kami ng isa pang baby para kalaro mo at tatawag na ‘kuya’ sa iyo.

Boy: Dog style na lang kayo, dad. Ang gusto ko, tuta.


ITIM NA PANTI
MAY BATANG NAGTANONG SA ISANG MISIS..
BATA:misis bakit laging kulay itim ang pating suot nyo cguro nagluluksa kau no???
MISIS:oo ksi laging patay ang etits ng asawa ko
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daryll
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Thu Jul 10 2008, 16:37

nyahhh naloka ako sa sakristan na nakikipaglibing....at yong dogstyle rolling 4 laugh
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Thu Jul 10 2008, 16:46

ITIM NA PANTI
MAY BATANG NAGTANONG SA ISANG MISIS..
BATA:misis bakit laging kulay itim ang pating suot nyo cguro nagluluksa kau no???
MISIS:oo ksi laging patay ang etits ng asawa ko
nyahhh nyahhh

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daryll
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Thu Jul 10 2008, 17:01

Misis : Darling, ano ang tawag sa
isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi
selosa, mapagmahal, masipag,
mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!
________________

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang
section sya!
_________________
Paano humamon ng AWAY ang ...
BULAG?
Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!
DULING?
Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!
PILAY?
Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!
_________________

Pedro: Pare balita ko bading ka daw.
totoo ba?!
Ambo: Pare, Mga chismax lang 'yun
galing sa mga chuvanes na walang
magawa sa mga chenilyn nila.... chura
nila! hmpf!
__________________

Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin
Girl: Bakit?!
Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
Boy: Yun nga eh...gusto ko rin ang
kuya mo!
___________________

Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST
partners :
Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!
____________________

American guy named Paul challenged a
Filipino:
American: Use my name 4 times in a
sentence!
Pedro: Paul, be carePaul, you might
Paul in the swimming Paul.
_____________________

Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo...dito
lang ako... dito lang talaga
ako...tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang
pupunta dito! Baka madamay ako..
_____________________

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Ha, eh di, ..... Baraha.
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Thu Jul 10 2008, 17:08

Misis : Darling, ano ang tawag sa
isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi
selosa, mapagmahal, masipag,
mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!
rolling 4 laugh hinde naman,grabe nman yan! ako ganyan eh! charing! lots of laugh

Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST
partners :
Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!
nyahhh yan hanap na lang ng ganyan klase ng lalaki.

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang
section sya!
:rolling:

________________________________

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Sidney
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Fri Jul 11 2008, 08:57

hahahahaha...more ...moreeeee rolling 4 laugh nakaka wala pagod grabeee!!!aliw nyahhh
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daryll
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Fri Jul 11 2008, 09:24

Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo...dito
lang ako... dito lang talaga
ako...tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang
pupunta dito! Baka madamay ako..
___________________

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang
section sya!
____________________


dito rin sumakit tiyan ko sa kakatawa
:rolling:
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barbz
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Fri Jul 11 2008, 10:18

nice joke... nyahhh nyahhh
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Jul 12 2008, 00:56

Anak: itay alam nio b parang kiamoy ung ari ng klasm8 ko ..



Itay: hahahahaha! wag k nga nga mang lait anak! bakit maliit b?



Anak: hindi poh .. ang alat kz eh ..



Itay: AY! LINTIK!
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jgwapito
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Jul 12 2008, 12:53

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Ha, eh di, ..... Baraha.

nyahhh ang mga babae kasi mahilig sa diamond.. di binigyan ng baraha hahaha.. dami noong diamond nyahhh
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barbz
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Jul 12 2008, 14:20

buti na lang di ako mahilig sa diamond kung magkakataon baka baraha din ibigay nyahhh
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daryll
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Jul 12 2008, 16:23

pazzawhy1900 wrote:
Anak: itay alam nio b parang kiamoy ung ari ng klasm8 ko ..



Itay: hahahahaha! wag k nga nga mang lait anak! bakit maliit b?



Anak: hindi poh .. ang alat kz eh ..



Itay: AY! LINTIK!

nyahhh nice joke pazza....
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TGP
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Tue Oct 14 2008, 03:48

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

=============================

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

=============================

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!

=============================

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L."
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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RINGO STARR
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Wed Oct 15 2008, 15:13

hhahahahaa grabe binasa ko lahat....


eto sa akin..

Anak: Nay anong ulam natin
Ina : Tingnan mo dyan sa ref
Anak: Nay wala naman tayong ref
Ina : E di wala tayong ulam common sense naman dyan...
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tiagong_akyat
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Wed Oct 15 2008, 15:19

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang
section sya!

hndi pa ako tao nung tym ni JR.. lots of laugh
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TGP
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Mon Oct 20 2008, 00:43

ha ha ha baka naman transferee si rizal kaya di kilala nyahhh


daryll wrote:

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang
section sya!
____________________


dito rin sumakit tiyan ko sa kakatawa
:rolling:
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daryll
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Tue Oct 21 2008, 18:52

nyahhh nakakatawa naman talaga mga jokes sa taas....
eto naman ang sa akin

anak: tay sino po ba pumatay kay Magellan?
tatay: bakit mo naman natanong yan anak?
anak: pinapatanong po sa amin ni ma'am
tatay: napakabagal na talaga ng hustisya dito sa atin..noong nag aaral pa ako pinaghahanap na nila yan hanggang ngayon hindi parin pala nahuhuli!


Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"

gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!

Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife
: kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so
he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

ANG MARRIED LIFE....
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"
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TGP
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Nov 08 2008, 16:22

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency.

"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried.

"It's my people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"

"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?"

"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.

"No problem," replied the President.

Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything.

George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."

"Consider it done," said the president of the condom company.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one!"
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Sat Nov 08 2008, 16:33

A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A beautiful young nurse arrives to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the oxygen mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

Struggling, he again asks the nurse, "Are my testicles black?" Finally, she raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand, holds his testicles in the other, takes a close look, and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice, but, are my test results back."

nyahhh
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PostSubject: Re: compilation of jokes.........hirit na   Wed Nov 26 2008, 00:54

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me."

"You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Do I know you? Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, of course I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair!!!"
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