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 delayed ng isang buwan

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andrew4378

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PostSubject: delayed ng isang buwan   Sun Dec 28 2008, 22:12

misis : delayed ako ng isang buwan pero huwag mo muna ipagsasabi kasi nahihiya ako
mister : ok

kinabukasan dumating ang taga meralco.

tga meralco : misis delayed ho kayo ng isang buwan
misis : ha, bakit mo alam?
tga meralco : nasa record ho
mister : bakit naka record yan na delayed ang misis ko?
tga meralco : kung gusto ninyo mwala sa record, magbayad kayo
mister : eh kung ayaw ko magbayad?
tga meralco : puputulan kayo.
mister : eh ano gagamitin ni misis?
tga meralco : pwede naman syang gumamit ng kandila
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MUDZ
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Sun Dec 28 2008, 22:17

lots of laugh uuu nga naman, kandila rolling 4 laugh
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Sun Dec 28 2008, 22:33

ang paghihiganti

isang gabi, naglalakad ang isang lalaki sa gilid ng tulay ng me naaninag sya na babae na magpapakamatay

"huwag" sigaw ng lalaki, sa kabutihang palad nakumbinsi ni lalaki si babae at sya bumaba

lalaki : anong naisipan mo at gagawni mo yan?
babae : kasi niloko ako ng boyfrend ko at sumama sa iba.

lalaki: miss ganyan din ang problema ko, pro di ko naisipan na gawin yan
babae : so ano ang gagawin natin

nagisip saglit si lalaki at sinabi:

lalaki : gusto mo maghiganti tayo sa kanila
babae : paanong paghihiganti?
lalaki : alam mo na ang ibig ko sabihn
sabay kindat sa babae na nakuha kagad ang ibig sabihin

maya maya ay nasa isang kwarto na sila ng motel, at nangyari ang dapat na mangyari. nang matapos si lalaki,, nagsindi sya ng yosi, nang halos foliter na lang ay biglang nagsabi si babae na " maghiganti ulit tayo". medyo pagod, pinagbigyan nya ang request ng babae.

nang makaraos uli,nagsindi ulit si lalaki ng yosi, nasa kalahati pa lang ng yosi ng,

babae : maghiganti ulit tayo

medyo nangangatog na ang tuhod, pro dahil sa hilig ay muling pinagbigayn ni lalaki si babae,, hangang sa makaraos ang dalwa, nagsindi ulit si lalaki ng yosi,, unang hiti pa lang ng

babae : ganti ulit tayo

tlgang lupaypay na si manoy pero para lang wag mapahiya ay pinagbigyan nya ang kahilingan ng babae. pagkatapos kumuha ulit ng yosi si lalaki, sisindihan pa lang ng

babae : ganti ulit tayo

lalaki: tang na,,, patawarin na natin sila
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Sun Dec 28 2008, 22:51

this is just for fun, no intention to stereotype:

private eye

a man thought that his wife is cheating on him. since he dont have a lot of money to hire an expensive private investigator, he decided to go to a much cheaper one -- a chinese man named mr. lee

the following day he received a report:

Most honorable sir:

you leave house, i watch house, he came to house, i watch, he and she leave the house, i follow. he and she go in a hotel. i climbed tree,l look in a window. he kisses she, she kisses he, he strip she, she strip he, he played with she, she played with he. i play with me. i fall of tree. i not see.
no fee

mr chen lee
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 06:43

nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh


clap clap clap clap Galing galing naman... aga mo pa ako pinatawa ah... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 10:36

lots of laugh natawa ako,salamat napatawa moko kahit mainit ulo ko so funny

________________________________

Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. And never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
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MUDZ
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 12:18

tol hindi kana hilig at manyakis? joker kana pala? lots of laugh tol mukhang lalagnatin si lex at si ianp sayo rolling 4 laugh nyahhh :roll: :halakhak:
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RINGO STARR
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 13:05

hehehehe hahahahaha galing hehehehehe
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sheryl ann
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 13:06

lots of laugh lots of laugh lots of laugh clap clap
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Jhoanna
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 13:22

asan na si andrew? ang galing mo magpatawa bro!

kakatuwa naman si chen lee!

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MUDZ
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Mon Dec 29 2008, 15:53

aba! yung me ari ng site ng konek na pa bilib kay tol ah... lots of laugh dibale tol e rerecomend ko kay jho na e upo ka sa hotseat para christmas treat sayo dito sa konek. lots of laugh rolling 4 laugh ayus talagah si tol, princinpe ng mga matutulis sa mabuhay, biglang naging joker. naduduling silly naduduling
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 06:27

Ang Mahiwagang Laway



Si Ahmed ay isang high-ranking official sa korte ni Haring

Akbar.

Matagal
nang pinakamimithi ni Ahmed na pagsawaang madede ang

malulusog na
dibdib ng
Reyna. Tuwing mapapadaan si Ahmed sa harapan ng Reyna ay
gayon na
lamang ang
pagkasiphayo ng kanyang kalooban. Isang araw, ipinagtapat ni
Ahmed
ang
kinikimkim niyang pagnanasa sa pangunahing tagapayo ng Hari,
si
Birbal.




Umiiyak na nagmakaawa si Ahmed kay Birbal upang tulungan
siya sa
kanyang

suliranin. Pinag-isipan ni Birbal ang bagay na iyon, at
pumayag
siyang

tulungan si Ahmed sa kondisyon na kapag natupad ang ninanasa
ni Ahmed

ay
babayaran siya ni Ahmed ng 1,000 gintong kuwalta.





Agad na sumang-ayon si Ahmed. Humingi si Birbal kay Ahmed ng
kalahating

tasang laway nito. Isinangkap ni Birbal ang laway ni Ahmed
sa
mahiwagang

losyon. Kinabukasa! n, habang naliligo ang Reyna, ipinahid
ni Birbal
ang

mahiwagang losyon sa bra nito. Matapos isuot ng Reyna ang
bra ay

nagsimulang mangati ang mga suso nito. Habang nagtatagal ay
lalong

sumisidhi ang pangangati ng boobs ng Reyna, kaya ganoon na
lamang ang

pag-aalala ng Hari.





Hindi makatulog ang Reyna dahil sa pangangati ng kanyang
boobs, at
syempre
pa ay bwisit na bwisit ito. Kung sinu-sino ang kinunsulta ng

Hari,
kabilang
si Birbal, at nagkaisa sila na ang makagagamot sa karamdaman

ng Reyna
ay
isang espesyal na laway na kailangang ilagay sa loob nang

apat na
oras.





Isiniwalat ni Birbal na ang espesyal na laway ay matatagpuan
sa bibig

ni
Ahmed. Ipinatawag ni Haring Akbar si Ahmed, at inatasan
itong dedehin

nang
apat na oras ang dibdib ng Reyna. Apat na oras na singkad na

nagpapasasa
si Ahmed sa suso ng Reyna na mistulang asong ulol. Dinilaan

niya
iyon,
kinagat, pinisil-pisil, nilamas, nilamutak. Nakamit ni Ahmed

ang
matagal! na
niyang hinahangad. Pagkalipas ng apat na oras ay

masayang-masaya si
Ahmed.




Nang magtagpo sila ni Birbal at sinisingil siya nito,
tumangging
magbayad

si Ahmed at ipinagtabuyan niya si Birbal. Alam ni Ahmed na
hindi
makapagsusumbong si Birbal kay Haring Akbar.





Minaliit ni Ahmed ang talino ni Birbal. Kinabukasan,ipinahid
ni
Birbal ang

mahiwagang losyon sa underwear ni Haring Akbar. Muling
ipinatawag ni

Haring
Akbar si Ahmed..............................

Tuloy ko pa ba ang kuwento? . . . . . . . . . . . .
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 06:28

joke time muna bro mudz,,, pa wholesome muna ako.. hehehehehe
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 06:29

Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

The FINALISTS:
Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Philippines
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Japan
QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman…..
(Applause!…. Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
(Applause!… Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.
(Applause!… Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves
QUESTION : And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door…..
(Applause!… Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night….
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play….because it bows down after every performance.
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh…well, opcors, hihihihi…I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis…
QUESTION : Chismis???
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry… Its ano, ahh kuwan…it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION : Hmm… Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy…Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi…Kasi….I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..
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bong
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 06:54

nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh nyahhh
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:05

Ang Liham Ni Tatay

Minamahal kong anak,



Medyo mabagal akong mag type ngayon dahil alam kong mabagal kang magbasa.

Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang bagong bili na bahay. Pero

hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang

number para

daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng address.



Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila. Dalawang beses lang umulan

sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.



Nakakainis ! lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nung nabili ko na shampoo,

ayaw bumula. Nakasulat FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasa ang buhok ko

pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa tindahan at magrereklamo ako.



Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas

ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay

hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ! ng bahay, akala

nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE, wise yata ito!



Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan

mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa dahil medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga

botones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga botones at

inilagay ko na lang

sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating diyan.



Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi ko na

pinirma han dahil gusto ko na maging anonymous donor.



Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon siyang 500

na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial

park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.



Nakapanganak! na rin pala ang Ate Baby mo, hindi ko pa alam kung babae o

lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong uncle or auntie.



Isa pa nga pala, babalik ako diyan sa Oktubre pero naguguluhan ako. Di ba

yung Victory Liner, BLTB Liner, Pascual Liner at Alfonso Liner ay mga

pampasaherong bus. Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan ba ang terminal

nila?



At saka nga pala, me nag-interview sa akin diyan at nakalimutan kong

banggitin sa iyo taga Magandang Umaga Bayan daw siya at nakunan ako sa TV

ang tanong sa akin ay ano raw sa salitang english ang Kulangot. Di ko

nasagot...ikaw anak, alam mo?

Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas ha.



Love,

Tatay


P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang envelope.

Next time na lang ha.
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:08

A Texas cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his
tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next
table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the
waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah Senor,
you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight
this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy said, "What the heck, I'm on
vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so very sorry
senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull
fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we
will be sure to save you this delicacy!" The next morning, the cowboy
placed his order, and was served the one and only special delicacy of
the day. After a few bites he called to the waiter and said, "These are
delicious, but they are much, much small er than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor,
sometimes the bull wins."
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:11

Fastest thing...


An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of
hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After
sorting through a stack of resumes he found four
people who were equally qualified -- an American, a
Russian, an Australian and a Filipino.He decided to
call the four in and ask them only one question. Their
answer would determine who of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference
room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest
thing you know?" Dave, the
American, replied, "A THOUGHT . It just pops into your
head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's
just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now
you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and
you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the
fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an
eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed." He then
turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating
his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out
of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.
When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture
the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A
LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The
interviewer was very impressed with the third answer
and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat
the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the
Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer
posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter
herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat
the fastest thing is
Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by
the response. The others were already giggling in
their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see,
sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run
so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or
TURN ON THE LIGHT, 'Tang Ina, sir, I had olreydi sh8*
in my pants!"
Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:13

Kasal..

Para sa mga magpapakasal, ikakasal, kinasal, nakasal,
walang pangkasal.... tongue.gif

3 lovely triplet daughters

Once upon a time, there lived a happy couple, with
their 3 lovely triplet
daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella. The 3 daughters were
brought up in a
prim-and-proper fashion and when they reached 20,
their parents thought it
was time to get them married. So, the parents found
them the most suitable
" leng chais" ( handsome guys).

They got married and were preparing to set-off on
their honeymoon. As
"concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, they were
curious about their
daughters' first-night experience. So, before the
daughters went on their
respective honeymoons, mother told them......

" Your father and I want to know about your 1st
night encounters and
whether you were satisfied. Write a letter to us,
but so as not to raise
your husbands'curiosity... you all must use a
code-name to describe your
experiences". So, the excited daughters went off.

A week passed, they got the first letter. It was
from Elaine. They opened
the letter and found the word "Standard Chartered".
They immediately took
the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered
advertisement.

"Ah! here it is!". The motto for Standard Chartered
was...."Big, strong
and friendly"

They were happy. A week later, they got another
letter. This time it was
from Ena. The content was simple. "Nescafe". So,
again they took the
newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here
it is. "Nescafe:
pleasure till the last drop".

Again, they were beamed with joy. Another week
passed. A month passed. And
another. There was still no letter from Ella. They
became worried. Finally,
the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly
be read, but managed to
figure it out.

The code-name was "Philippine Airlines". Why
Philippine Air Lines? Mom
rushes to the nearest store and got a newspaper. She
flipped the pages
frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" and read aloud. Before
she could finish..
Thump!!!...she fell off her chair.

The motto was..."7 times a week. 4 to 6 times a day.
Non-stop."
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:15

Nakakatuwang Balita!!! ni MIKE ENRIQUEZ


Water District, nasunog!!!

Tahanang Walang Hagdan, inakyat!!!

Bakla sumali sa away, napasubo!!!

Bagong tuli nagyabang, lumaki ang ulo!!!

Unanong madre, napagkamalang penguin!!!

Bulag nakapatay, nagdilim daw ang paningin!!!

Iceman nanood ng porno, nag-init!!!

Tindera ng suka, tinoyo!!!

Teacher nagkamali, tinuruan ng leksyon!!!

Lolo naakusahang nang-rape, pero sa korte....biktima ayaw tumayo!!!

Eroplano nag-crash, lahat ng pasahero namatay....ayon sa mga survivor!!!

Basurero nagsampa ng kaso sa korte suprema, binasura!!!

Dahil may reklamo, eskwelahan ng mga bingi nag-noise barrage!!!

Tubero nakipagsex sa isang GRO, nagka-tulo!!!

Lalaki natagpuang pugot ang ulo, inaalam pa kung buhay!!!

Utak ng Sindikato, may cancer!!!!

Babae nasaksak ng malalim ng kanyang Tyohin, Buntis!!!!

SuperFerry 69 nalunod, natagpuang lumutang nalang sa dagat!!!

Richard Gomes, napagkamalang artista ng isang bulag sa Ermita!
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:17

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President!
By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to "psst...psst" or 'hoy....hoy. ..hoy...'

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!!!
tree
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andrew4378

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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:18

Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy"**
Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang"**

Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress"**
Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"**

Kung mayaman ka, "pneumonia" daw ang sakit mo**
Kung mahirap, "TB" yon**

Sa mayaman, "hyperacidity"**
Kapag mahirap, "ulcer" dahil walang laman ang tiyan**

Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac"**
Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"**

Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric"**
Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad"**

Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine"**
Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom"**

Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic"**
Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"**

Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "sun tanned"**
Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga"*
*

Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay "petite"**
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot"**

Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump"**
Kapag mahirap ka, ika'y "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba"...pagminamalas ka,
"baboy"**

Kapag mayaman, "fasting" ang hindi kumain**
Kung mahirap, "nagtitiis"**

Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay
"socialite"**
Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pok-pok"**

Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated"**
Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi"**

Kapag mayaman, "misguided" o "spoiled" ka**
Kung mahirap ka, "addict" o "durugista"**

Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent"**
Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada"*
*
Kapag mayaman at sexy, "fashionable" daw**
Kung mahirap, sigurado "GRO" o "japayuki" ka**

Ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain, "vegetarian"**
Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na " kumakain ng damo."**

Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro**
Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa
kanila ay "bastos!"**

Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully into senior citizenhood"*
*
Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang"**

Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner"**
Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong"**

Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says,
"masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking"**
Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your host
will say to himself na ikaw ay "patay-gutom"**

Kung graduate ka ng exclusive school at sa ibang bansa ka nagtatrabaho, ang
tawag sa iyo "expat"**
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "contract worker"**

Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa office mo, "okay lang"
Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay" nagbubulakbol"...
kaya forward mo na agad ito dahil nasa likod mo ang boss mo!*
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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 07:21

Agang patawa neto Brod ah! Thanks for sharing! clap

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Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. And never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
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MUDZ
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Wed Dec 31 2008, 10:16

so funny :roll: so funny :roll: so funny :roll: :roll: so funny tol, lalagnatin sayo si lex at si ianp... lots of laugh rolling 4 laugh parang hindi ikaw yan... nyahhh so funny alam mo naman tol kami lang ang nakakakilala sayo dito, bukod pa kay pareng ogie at kay alden yung bagong sali sa mabuhay... :roll: :halakhak: tol kagabi hanap ko id ni ipe, hindi ko makita...mukhang naging BORN-AGAIN na kaya wala ng friendster... lots of laugh rolling 4 laugh nyahhh so funny :roll: :halakhak:
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PostSubject: Re: delayed ng isang buwan   Thu Jan 01 2009, 14:59

ANG CAMEL

May isang OFW sa Saudi na nagta-trabaho bilang isang engineer na nahigit ng sampung taon sa bansang iyon. Sa kaniyang pag-babakasyon, sa halip na umuwi muli sa Pilipinas, naisipan niyang tawirin ang disyerto bilang isang "adventure".

Sa kaniyang konting naipon, bumili siya ng camel para gamitin sa paglalakbay sa disyerto. Dahil hindi niya alam kung papaano paluhurin ang camel para sakyan ito, bumilina lang siya ng aluminum na hagdanan.

Sa ikatlong araw na paglalakbay, sinumpong ang pinoy sa matinding "pangangailangan". Nadiskubre niya na babae pala ang nabili niyang camel kaya naisipan na lang niyang mag-paraos sa kaniyang camel. Dahil wala namang katao-tao sa malawak na disyerto, nagpasya siyang o.k. lang ang kaniyang naiisip.
Dahil mataas ang camel ginamit niya ang hagdan, ngunit tuwing tatangkain niyang ipasok si "manoy", nakikiliti ang camel at humahakbang na papalayo at si pinoy ay nahuhulog.

Ganoon ng ganoon hanggang nabuwiset at nag-sawa si pinoy sa pagtatangka at ipinasiya niyang ipagpatuloy na lang ang paglalakbay. Ganoon pa man hindi matanggal sa isipan niya na makaraos sa kaniyang pagnanasa.

Sa ika-limang araw na pag-lalakbay ay narinig niya ang sigaw ng isang pinay na hinahabol ng tatlong Arabyano. "Tulungan mo ako kabayan!!!" sigaw ng magandang pinay, "gusto nila akong pag-samantalahin atpatayin!" Mabuti na lang ay nag-dala ng baril itong si pinoy para sa ganitong pangyayari at pinaputukan ni pinoy ang mga salarin at dali-dali naman tumakbo ang mga Arabyano papalayo sa kanila.

Malaking pasalamat ng maganda at ubod na seksing pinay sa bida nating pinoy. Sabi ni pinay: " Maraming salamat at nailigtas mo ako, kabayan. Utang ko sa iyo ang buhay ko!" Lumapit ang seksing pinay kay pinoy at pabulong na sinabi ng pinay kay pinoy, "gagawin ko ang kahit na ano bilang pasasalamat sa iyo...kahit na ano!"

Ang pinoy ay nangangailangan pa rin: "Talaga?"

Pinay: "Oo, kahit ano gagawin ko para sa iyo."

Pinoy, napalunok: "Kahit ano, ha?"

Pinay: "Kahit ano."

Pinoy: "Kung ganoon, paki-hawakan mo ang camel ko!"
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