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 Number 29 the best

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RINGO STARR
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PostSubject: Number 29 the best   Wed Sep 09 2009, 09:14

ENJOY!

1. Yaya buys food at McDo.

Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”

Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”

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2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”

Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”

Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”

Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”

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3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.

Doc: “Bottlefed?”

Woman: “ Brea - stfed po.”

(Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)

Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”

Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”

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4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.

She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:

“Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!”

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5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.

Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer

kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”

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6. Yaya: “Huhuhu…”

Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”

Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”

Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”

Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”

Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”

Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”

Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”

Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”

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7. (Earlier) Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”

(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”

Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”

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8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.

I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”

She answered: “Secret!”

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9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :

“Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”

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10. Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”

Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”

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11. Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”

Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”

Mom: “It’s up to you.”

(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”

Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,

sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”

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12. Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”

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13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can

at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”

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14. SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”

INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”

SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”

INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”

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15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.

She answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”

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16. “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”

Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”

Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”

Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”

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17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.

Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”

Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”

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18. Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs:

“Down to earth! Down to earth!”

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19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.

Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,

“Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!”

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20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son.

So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.

Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered:

“Parang Watson’s yata…”

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21. Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”

Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”

Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”

Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”

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22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”

Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”

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23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)

Kuya: “Yaya…”

Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”

Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”

Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”

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24. Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”

Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”

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25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:

“Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.

At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”

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26. Yaya to my brother: “Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?”

Bro: “Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!”

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27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):

“Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”

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28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre

in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.

Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?

“Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!”

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29. AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”

MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”

AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”

MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”

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30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: “ Hilo ?”

We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.

We told her, “Yaya, baliktad!”

Then Yaya said: “Lohi?”

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31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.

Yaya: (Bisaya) Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,

(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"
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kuyabig
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Fri Sep 11 2009, 02:27

wahhhh!puro yaya bro..nakakabawas ng pagod kahit papano..more jokes bro ung mejo double meaning.hehehe!
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serenity
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Fri Sep 11 2009, 15:55

They're very funny! nyahhh Thanks for sharing! ok smiley

bee

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Ailou
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Fri Sep 11 2009, 17:15

Quote :
23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)

Kuya: “Yaya…”

Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”

Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”

Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”
natawa ako dito!

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Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. And never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
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Sunshine
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Fri Sep 11 2009, 23:24

naks.. joker din .. ahehe...
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palaboy
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sat Sep 12 2009, 00:20

28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre

in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.

Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?

“Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!”




eto ayus din nakakaloko.. natakot dahil malaki! haha baka yun tabako lang yun nakita nya so funny
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RINGO STARR
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sat Sep 12 2009, 11:11

22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”

Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”


Hahahahaha tama naman si yaya.. kasama nga ang driver
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palaboy
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sat Sep 12 2009, 14:30

RINGO STARR wrote:
22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”

Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”


Hahahahaha tama naman si yaya.. kasama nga ang driver




muk mafi naman tol yun yaya!
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kuyabig
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sat Sep 12 2009, 15:53

5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.

Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer

kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”





wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! buti nalang walang banat sa magazine stand kc kung meron,baka binili narin ni yaya.
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kuyabig
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sat Sep 12 2009, 15:54

3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.

Doc: “Bottlefed?”

Woman: “ Brea - stfed po.”

(Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)

Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”

Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”




parang gusto q tuloy maging doctor.lol
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ken_saudiboy
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Tue Sep 15 2009, 11:29

hahaha. nakakatawa naman ang mga jokes dito. me jokes bang nakakain??????
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RINGO STARR
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Wed Sep 16 2009, 14:50

ken_saudiboy wrote:
hahaha. nakakatawa naman ang mga jokes dito. me jokes bang nakakain??????
oo mali nga lang spelling... ATISSS.. ATE>> as in EATS hehehehe pwede rin ang langka nakaka tuwa rin iyon lalo na kapag dumapo sa mukha lots of laugh
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Lady_Spy
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PostSubject: Re: Number 29 the best   Sun Dec 06 2009, 21:07

23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)

Kuya: “Yaya…”

Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”

Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”

Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”






****** tawa naman ako dito nyahhh




__________________________________





28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre

in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.

Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?

“Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!”




****** malaki nga ba ang kwan ng kapre thinking nyahhh
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