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 Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself!

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elyn
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PostSubject: Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself!   Tue Oct 18 2011, 18:43

*worth reading


One day, a very discouraged man visited Norman Vincent Peale. He told the good Reverend he had nothing to live for.

“Everything is gone, everything is hopeless. I’ve lost the heart for living.”

Norman Vincent Peale got a piece of paper, drew a vertical line in the middle, and said, “This is your life. Let’s write down a list of the things you’ve lost on the left side, and the things that you still have on the right side.”

The man shook his head, “You won’t need the right side. I have nothing left in my life.”
Norman Vincent Peale said, “When did your wife leave you?”
The man was shocked. “My wife didn’t leave me! She’s right here with me. My wife loves me!”
Norman said, “That’s fantastic! Let’s write that down as number one on the right side of the paper: ‘Wife with me’. Now tell me, “When did your kids go to prison…”

“Prison?” the man asked in “My kids are right here at home!”

“Fantastic! Let’s write it down here as number two: ‘Kids not in jail.’”

Norman continued asking similar questions, and the man got the point, and began to smile. He said, “I guess my life isn’t so bad after all!”

Perception Is Everything
Your perception of reality is your reality.
Your life has always two sides—a left side and a right side—the bad stuff happening and the good stuff happening.

A lot of people spend the whole day looking at the left side—the side where they list everything that’s wrong with their life. 24 hours a day, they think about it, meditate on it, analyze it, mull over it. That’s why they’re miserable.

Friend, make a decision to spend the whole day looking at the right side of your life.

I know. This is very difficult.

Especially when you fail.

There was a man who failed big time in the Bible…

You’re Like Peter
Peter was the Number 1 Apostle, the top man, the leader of the pack. And he prided himself as the bold one.

While everyone in the boat was terrified by the storm, he walked on water. While everyone couldn’t say who Jesus was, he proclaimed out, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God!”

Yet at the critical point, he failed.

When his loyalty was most needed, he turned chicken. He became a coward. How? He denied His Master three times.

When a maid said, “Hey, I know you. You’re with that guy Jesus, right?”
Peter said, “Je.. Je… Who are you talking about? Never heard of him. Sorry, wrong number.”

She said, “No, you’re the one. I don’t forget faces. I’m sure you’re the assistant of that guy Jesus who’s being tried right now and will most likely be crucified tomorrow.”

Peter cursed, “Heck, you’re mistaken, girl. I don’t know him!”
Imagine how terrible he felt after that night.
Imagine the guilt that ate up his soul.

Here’s my bet: For days, Peter was too hard on himself.
Like all of us, we are our own most cruel critic.
From my experience, our most toxic relationship is with ourselves. We are our worst enemy.
When we fail, we emotionally beat ourselves endlessly.
We label ourselves a “big loser”.
We curse ourselves to fail forever.
If Jesus Wasn’t Jesus…
Days later, Jesus rose from the dead.
And Jesus had this incredible conversation with Peter that showed us how God deals with our failures…

I love this scene!

Because Jesus didn’t focus on Peter’s failures.
If Jesus wasn’t Jesus, He’d say, “Peter, let’s talk about the night when you did that shameful thing of running away…”

“Oh gosh, Lord, I… I… I…”
“Tsk, tsk. I thought you were brave. Peter, you were a big, fat, 100%, unadulterated coward.”
“(Gulp) Well, uh, there was a lot of pressure that night, and…”
“And I thought I could count on you, Peter. I thought you were a loyal and faithful friend. Sheesh, was I mistaken.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Shame on you, Peter. You don’t really love me.”
“Uh, I guess I don’t.”
“And my goodness, you denied me not once, not twice… but three times! What a weakling. What have you got to say for yourself?”
“I’m ashamed, Lord.”
“Oh, you better be….”
Jesus didn’t say those words.
In this conversation, Jesus focused on Peter’s love for him. He asked him three times, “Do you love me?” And when Peter answered yes, he said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)
Jesus didn’t believe that Peter’s denials defined him.
What was Jesus doing?
He wanted to tell Peter, “Hey, I know you really love me. I don’t focus on your failures. I don’t look at what you did wrong. I look at what you did right.”
God’s Focus Is Different From Ours
For so long, religion used to make people feel bad about themselves.
But that doesn’t come from God!

This message is very close to my heart.
Once upon a time, I used to call myself a failure.
Because I would focus on my weaknesses.
I would focus on my sins.
And the more I focused on my sins, the more I did them.
Until I became addicted to my sins.
You see, there are two kinds of guilt…
o Demonizing Guilt
o Detoxifying Guilt

The first guilt demonizes you. When you sin, demonizing guilt says, “You’re bad. There’s nothing good in you.”

The second guilt detoxifies you. It separates the sin from the sinner. When you sin, detoxifying guilt says, “This isn’t you. You’re better than this. Stand up. Move on!”

Demonizing guilt depresses you. It pushes you to sin even more. It’s the guilt of the addict.

Detoxifying guilt lifts you up. It pushes you to become who you really are.

Tell me now.

What kind of guilt do you have?
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alia
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PostSubject: Re: Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself!   Wed Oct 19 2011, 00:12

whaaaaaaaaaaaa.....magpakatotoo ka kasi..nyahhhh...hmf:) so funny

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